


Forever Lost?

by LostInMyWorld



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Garcia Flynn & Jiya Friendship, Hurt Lucy Preston, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29408355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInMyWorld/pseuds/LostInMyWorld
Summary: Time travel is a bitch! Sometimes it brings you back people you thought were lost. But sometimes it takes the ones you love.
Relationships: Garcia Flynn & Jiya, Garcia Flynn/Lucy Preston, Rufus Carlin/Jiya
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Forever Lost?

**Author's Note:**

> I found this in the dungeons of my external hard drive. Just thought I might upload it anyways. I hope it is understandable, I just barely overlooked it.   
> Some hurt and then some more hurt. Some nice side effects of time travel, yet more emitional hurt.

A little vibration shook the bunker, announcing the return of the Lifeboat from its recent mission. Jiya looked up from the computer screens in front of her, just as it reappeared with the typical spin of the outside rings. A small smile crossed her face, acknowledging that Connor and Flynn must have had a successful mission, successful in the sense of survival at least. She couldn’t bear to lose either one of them. The bunker family was all she had left and she wouldn’t know how to continue the fight against Rittenhouse when either one of them was killed or erased by their enemy.

Jiya hadn’t even reached the staircase to push it up to the Lifeboat when the hatch opened and she heard angry voices, seemingly arguing with each other. She pushed the staircase close and saw Flynn exiting with a dark glare, eyes darker than she had ever seen them and his expressive brows contracted with a scowl. Something must have clearly gone wrong.

Flynn looked backed over his shoulder, almost shouting at the figure behind him, his tone was angry, annoyed and rough all at once: “You messed up, just admit it! This time it is all on you! I am not taking the fall for your errors again!”

Jiya, stepping away from the staircase, still unsure what was going on there, stepped back a few steps and decided to observe this whole situation first before interfering. Surely Connor must have made a bad mistake but she couldn’t spin her head around what that might have been, as the Connor she knew, was usually calculated and under control of all his actions, never acting recklessly. Just with that thought, Connor appeared in the sight of the hole, with a somewhat bemused expression and a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. He stepped out, rushed down the staircase and came to a halt a few steps from where Jiya stood. Not looking at the young technician, he focused his vision up again, as if waiting for someone else to exit the Lifeboat.

Jiya noticed his gaze with surprise; who was he expecting? There should have been only the two men traveling in the past and back. But then, another figure moved to the exit of the Lifeboat. A man with short blondish hair, blue eyes and an absolutely annoyed angry expression on the face.

Climbing out of the Lifeboat, Wyatt shouted in defense to Flynn’s accusation: “What did you expect me to do? Not shooting the sleeper maybe?!”

“Maybe try not to shoot innocent historical people? Has your little soldier club never taught you how to hit a target properly?” Flynn growled while rolling his eyes and jerking his head in annoyance. Flynn was standing at the bottom of the staircase, with Jiya and Connor in his back, looking angrily at Wyatt who was now in full sight out of the Lifeboat standing on top the stairs.

Then, all at once: Flynn was getting ready for another snarky response for whatever Wyatt was formulating in his head for his own defense; Wyatt at the top of the stairs just opened his mouth; when Jiya made a somewhat undefinable noise behind Flynn. Wyatt’s eyes flickered down to her, his expression changing in an instant from exasperated to bewildered. With that and the sound behind him, Flynn likewise turned around to the young technician, who was standing there with an open mouth and surprise in her facial expression.

Flynn studied her for less than a second, noticing the changes just now, that he actually looked at her. “What’s with the red hair?”, he asked, eyeing her form head to heel.

Jiya, obviously regaining her senses from the shock of surprise, ignored him and Connor. With one fluent motion she withdrew a Sig Sauer from the holster on her hip, released the safety catch and raised it up, pointing directly at Wyatt. He immediately froze right where he was standing, jaw dropping and unable to find a single word, just standing there and staring right at Jiya’s gun.

“Who’s that?”, she asked, holding her gun incredibly stable targeting Wyatt’s chest. Flynn exchanged a quick glance with Connor, both men having a quiet understanding of the situation taking place right in front of them. With that, Flynn shuffled to his left, right in front of the gun’s muzzle, now pointing at his chest. Connor stepped forward at the same time and put a hand on top of Jiya’s stretched arm, trying to push it down softly while saying with a fatherly manner: “Don’t be alarmed, Jiya. That’s Wyatt, he is part of our Team.”

Before her arm could move an inch down, Rufus climbed out of the Lifeboat, taking in the scene with a mix of surprise and shock.

Rufus: “Whoa, what’s up with the Black Widow look?”, he stopped, looking down, looking where her gun was pointing at Flynn but originally at Wyatt and then continued: “Why are we pointing guns at our Time Team now? Did I miss a memo or something?”

Jiya’s eyes widened again, as if they were about to fall out of her head, her jaw dropped once more. Without her even noticing, given her strange condition of trance, Connor pushed her arm down, as Flynn took the gun gently from her hand. He put on the safety catch, before storing it behind his back in the belt.

Wyatt left out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding and slowly stepped down the stairs. Rufus was right behind him, looking surprised at Jiya, who just seemed to not believe what or better who she was seeing. She pushed Flynn aside without any further notion and launched to the staircase at once, where Rufus was standing at the bottom. She practically jumped at him, tears already forming in her eyes. Rufus, taken by surprise lost his balance when she jumped to hug him and both fell down backwards to come to a halt on the staircase.

The other three men just stood around, watching the scene with a strange look in each of their faces, trying to not stare as obviously at the intimacy Jiya was now about to give Rufus, when kissing him all over his face. Mumbling something about Jon Snow and resurrection, while trying to kiss every inch of Rufus skin, she could reach.

“Are you guys ok?”, asked a voice familiar to all of them from the entrance to the hangar. Flynn’s and Wyatt’s heads both turned around at the same time, to face Lucy’s small frame and her friendly brown eyes. She came forward towards the two of them, Wyatt standing a little in front of Flynn. Wyatt released a small sigh, when she came closer with long strides and he looked at her, basically preparing for embracing her. Jiya didn’t remember him, somehow something changed and he was a stranger to her. But not to Lucy, she would remember him, how could she ever forget? She would always come for him, embrace him, as she had done so many times before.

He was absolutely astonished and a shiver ran down his neck, when Lucy, not even bothered looking at him, as she shoved by, clearly aiming for the man behind him, Flynn. Flynn’s reaction however, wasn’t far from Wyatt’s astonishment.

Lucy came close, embraced him in a natural matter, that he couldn’t really understand. Sure, they had been friends and they definitely had become very close over the past few weeks. Ever since their Vodka night, they had spent a lot of time together. Even after Wyatt told her, that he still loved her and cared for her, she preferred his presence over Wyatt’s. They had savored themselves in a comfortable companionship that was not bound to words alone. Lucy had found solace in him, in his presence and his bed. Not in the sexual way, (although he sometimes wished for more and his fantasies kept getting the better of him, when he was alone in the shower) but a rather purely platonic togetherness. They shared the bed, more times than he slept in that godawful chair and she on the couch. They cuddled and tried to give each other company. But all of that happened behind closed doors. There had not been any embrace, hug or notion of bond or affection in the common area, nor on the missions they have been on. And now- she just ignored Wyatt and was in front of him, right there, tugging her arms around his shoulders and neck.

She got up on her toes, squeezing him tight for a short moment. He was just standing there, like a frozen statue. Before he could even reconnect his brain with his body and react to her warm embrace, she pulled a few inches away.

With her hands still on his shoulders she looked up at him, at his face and into his eyes. Her gaze was warm, friendly and he noticed something in her eyes that he couldn’t quite pinpoint to anything he had seen before. After a moment of just staring at each other, her expression changed, the warmth was gone and a shudder of realization dawned.

She pulled a couple more inches away from his face, her eyes still locked on his, then she opened her mouth: “You are… you are … different.”. He raised his brows slowly and wanted to ask what she meant, when she obviously was the one acting weird, not him. But before he could open his mouth to question her, Wyatt cleared his throat very loudly. She instantly pulled her hands off of Flynn’s shoulders and turned around to the shorter man.

“Lucy”, he smiled, “what is going on here?” Wyatt asked with an unsure edge in his voice.

Lucy looked at him for a second, eyeballing the man who carried himself like a soldier. She looked back at Flynn, who seemed to be just fine with this stranger standing here in their bunker. Who was he to him, to them? He seemed to know her, but she had no memory of him, had the timeline changed?

“Who are you?”, she asked him politely, yet with a teacher like manner demanding an answer.   
“Lucy… it’s me- Wyatt. You don’t remember me? What happened, how is this possible?”, Wyatt asked, the latter question more to himself, but nevertheless in a disappointed manner.

Connor grasped the word, before anyone else could: “It’s fascinating!”, he exclaimed, “It seems we’ve altered the timeline immensely with our last mission. Lucy and Jiya don’t remember Wyatt anymore and clearly they didn’t expect to see Rufus alive or the---“. He was cut off by Lucy’s yelp: “RUFUS!”

Without another word she launched to the staircase, where Jiya and Rufus were sitting upright, after their little downfall. “You’re alive! You’re here! It is so good to have you back. But how…?”, She stumbled over her own words as she embraced him tightly, pushing him back onto the stairs, like Jiya did before (except for the kissing part).

“Can somebody just explain what the hell is going on… please?”, Wyatt pleaded impatiently. Jiya rose to her feet, gesturing towards Flynn: “Give me my gun back, we need to contain this individual. Is he Rittenhouse, a sleeper you took hostage?”.

“What???”, Wyatt exclaimed, looking incredulously at Flynn, “What the---“. Flynn somehow managed not to smile from cheek to cheek, but it was clear, he was enjoying this moment a lot, as he couldn’t manage to suppress an evil grin. The thought of Jiya and Lucy not remembering Wyatt was at his personal gratification for all the pain Wyatt had caused for Lucy, when breaking her heart and abandoning her.

Jiya reached Flynn and tried to grab around his waist, going for her gun, he had tugged away at his back.

“Jiya, you can’t shoot him, he is our friend.”, Rufus interfered, “And since when do you even know how to handle a gun?”, he asked looking at Lucy for an answer. But he didn’t get one, as she just shrugged with an innocent smile towards Jiya.

“As much as I would like you to shoot our Soldierboy here, we need everybody for the fight against Rittenhouse. He is, unfortunately on our side, otherwise I would have shot him myself long ago, trust me”, Flynn said with a matter of fact tone in his voice, keeping the gun at his back and out of Jiya’s reach.

“He is?”, Jiya asked elusively.

“Yes, he is one of us, fighting on the good side of history”, Connor said, placing a hand on Wyatt’s shoulder and gave him an apologetic look.

“Yep, all true! He is one of the good Jedi, fighting the Empire.”, Rufus explained with a reassuring tone, which earned him a small smile from Jiya.

“How can you not remember me?”, Wyatt asked.

“Well,”, Connor started, “obviously, as I have mentioned before, something we did must have changed the timeline to a great extent. I suggest we check you out, right now, to find out what happened to you in this timeline.”

“Yeah, we better find out quickly. Before Flynn becomes everyone’s number one soldier.” Wyatt said with a dark glare towards the taller man, who was still grinning.

“He is our number one soldier! Why should we trust you more than we do trust him?”, Jiya said with a tone to defend Flynn, as she hadn’t noticed his now really evil smile for Wyatt’s unfortunate situation.

Wyatt opened his mouth in search for an answer, when Connor again took over: “I am pretty sure, we can sort things out rather quickly, by just looking him up. Jiya, will you do me the honors?”.

“Sure.”, Jiya took quick paces towards the computer area, Connor, Wyatt and Rufus following her. Lucy stayed further back and glanced cautiously at Flynn’s profile as he was still standing there, seemingly amused with the whole situation. He was striding towards one of the tables and leaned on it, crossing his arms over his chest. Lucy followed him, not taking her eyes of this rather estrange Flynn version. She stopped, half way between the tables, half way between the computer area, where the rest of the team and that Wyatt guy were staring at the screens.

It was good to have Rufus back, she thought. She looked up at him, standing right behind Jiya and looking over the technician’s shoulder onto the screen. Jiya hadn’t been the same, since Rufus was taken from the team so forcefully. He was gone in their timeline, awfully shot by a sleeper on one of their missions a couple of weeks ago. And yet, here he was, again, alive and standing at Jiya’s side like nothing had happened. Time travel could be a blessing it seemed, as much as it could be a bitch. She looked at Jiya, who seemed to have problems concentrating solely at the screen as she looked over her shoulder a few times. Maybe she couldn’t believe her own eyes, couldn’t believe he was really alive again. Lucy couldn’t really wrap her head around this time travel paradigm either, but she was just glad Jiya had her beloved back. And for the team it was a total win, as he was a much more talented pilot than Connor had proven to be. Her eyes averted from Rufus and Jiya, she didn’t really listen to the conversation they had about the life and death of this new guy. Instead her eyes landed on Flynn. He was just standing there with all casualness and an unreadable expression on his face. He was looking up to the rest of the team, listening to their research on Wyatt. Lucy eyed him anew from head to toe. Something just seemed off about him, she noticed the lines on his face seemed somehow harder than before, as if this version of him had endured more pain and suffering than their Flynn. Although his clothes had a loose fit and the jacket from the early 20th century covered him in a casual way, she noticed that there was a certain tension to his body. Did she only imagine that he felt and looked more muscled than their own Flynn was? When she embraced him and laid her hands on his shoulder, all she could feel was his lean body with hard and trained muscles. Also, he hadn’t really smiled since they got back from the mission, not once. She wasn’t counting the devious grin he presented at Wyatt’s cost, but his genuine smile hasn’t appeared yet. And the way he just stood there, listening but not really being integrated into the team conversation and not seeming to want to be. She looked at him and just knew, this wasn’t her Flynn anymore. Yes, he was there, he looked the same, probably even smelled the same, and yet he was completely different.

Flynn shifted a little to lean more comfortable and rearranged his hands while still crossing his arms in front of his chest. At that moment Lucy saw it, she swallowed hard and tried to hide the shock on her face with jerking her had a little away from him. At that he averted his eyes from the group and stared at her. His eyes basically drilling a hole in her head. She looked back at him and for a moment they locked eyes, his stare was so intense, as if he could see right into her. She felt like he was scanning her inner thoughts. What was this intense stare? Had he always had this demeanor with his gaze? She really never saw it before.

He was raising one brow in a questioning expression, when she noticed she was still staring at him. Could it be? Could he see her inner thoughts? Does he know, what she just noticed, when he shifted his hand? Lucy had seen the wedding band he was wearing, but it wasn’t the wedding band she was used to. It wasn’t the one she had expected to see, this one was different. This one was different, like he was, it wasn’t their wedding band. It wasn’t the ring Lucy had placed on his finger about nine years ago. She knew it all too well, but this Flynn’s ring was so different. Does that mean they are still married, but he has a different ring? Did the Lucy of his timeline choose a different one? Or did he have another wife now? He was so distant from the beginning. She had embraced him, squeezed him tightly and was about to kiss him, like she always did, when he came back. But something had stopped her, the moment he didn’t reacted, the moment he felt so different, so distant. Could it be? Could he not be her husband anymore? A shudder cold as ice ran down her spine. Could it be, that she just lost her beloved husband? Had time travel taken him from her? This whole thing was just messed up!

Flynn was walking over to the tables scattered around the area under the computer screens. Let the others find out what this whole situation was, he thought. He causally leaned against one of the tables and looked up at them, listening to their conversation and their findings.

Apparently, the Soldierboy really wasn’t part of their Time Team (he would never admit to Rufus, he actually liked calling themselves the Time Team, it had a certain ring to it). As Jiya and Connor were researching Logan’s story, they found out, that he died a couple of years ago. It was one of the missions in Afghanistan, only one of his teammates survived and made it out alive with important intel and they gave this one a metal for abandoning his team. Yeah, great American Military, he thought, trying to ignore the fact that he also worked for the same institutions as Logan did. His wife, Jessica though, she was still alive, still living in the same area in San Diego, so at least he got her out of it. Although, she thought Logan was dead, so how was that supposed to work out again? Resurrection? Would she even believe him, when he came back from the dead and told her? Flynn didn’t know the answer, but he honestly felt some sympathy for the younger soldier. He got his wife back, but instead of getting together for a happily ever after, he was presumed dead and didn’t exist anymore in this timeline. That was definitely some outcome to swallow.

He was a little lost in his thoughts and his sympathy for Logan (he would never admit it, when somebody asked), when he noticed Lucy starring at him. He shifted his body a little and rearranged his hands. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something crossing over Lucy’s face and he turned his head. He was looking her straight in the eyes now, trying to figure out what it was, that came to her beautiful mind. But she just kept starring at him. He wanted to asked what came to her and already prepared for the question.

Before he could even open his mouth, Wyatt started swearing and stamped off towards the bunker rooms with the words of needing a shower. Connor stormed after him, trying to explain, that they needed to find some new arrangements, as he obviously hadn’t any of his things in the bunker, nor a room, as he hasn’t existed anymore.

Jiya turned around to Rufus, now hugging him again and starting to kiss him again all over. He looked a little confused but not really rejecting or hesitating when she pulled him away to their room.

Now it was just Flynn and Lucy left in the common area. Agent Christopher had left the bunker early today to enjoy a nice family night, as she couldn’t do anything else but waiting anyway.

Lucy was lost in her thoughts. Glad they had Rufus back, feeling happy for Jiya and for him to be back together again. She was confused with the new guy named Wyatt, wondering what his role was within the team, at the same time she wondered what their relationship was like, as he clearly knew her. She just couldn’t remember as they have never met. And Flynn-

“Are you okay, Lucy?”. She jumped as the sound of his voice was so close to her ear. She turned and stood now directly in front of him. His head tilted down to look at her. And he looked, no, he stared, with these intense eyes. Again, his gaze gave the impression as if he was X-raying her inner thoughts and feelings. And how did he come so close so quick, so quiet? Was that a new stealth mode ability or was she just lost in her thoughts?

She locked eyes with him, withholding the urge to lean forward, tug at his collar and kiss him ferociously, as she had missed him. No, as much as she wanted to (and his intense gaze was not helping to want any less, more the contrary), she needed to stay in control. She felt tears coming up, with every moment she looked him in the eyes, realizing that this was not her husband, the tears were almost there to explode. But she needed to be strong, she couldn’t give in just yet. He had no idea, how could he? But to whom was he married then? Did his heart also belong to that person and not to her anymore? The thought of him loving someone else stung and she winced while fighting back the tears.

He was still looking (maybe staring?) at her, waiting for an answer. She swallowed hard and averted her eyes, looking to the ground instead. She couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes, these wonderful hazel- green eyes.

“I am… fine… I guess.”, was all she could utter and she was sure it sounded as unsure and untrue to him as it did to her own ears. It was a huge lie, she was not fine, not at all, she couldn’t be further from fine.

“Lucy, I don’t mean to tell you anything about yourself anymore, but frankly, you don’t seem fine.”, he said in a very soft voice. For the first time since he had stepped of the Lifeboat, she noticed that his accent was quite thick in comparison. In fact, he sounded really different with it, not less attractive whatsoever, which felt really weird but still, she couldn’t say, that this version of Flynn was any less attractive. He somehow possessed this intense aura streaming around him, that seemed to pull her in every time when she looked at him. His presence was calm, he seemed so secure and sure of himself, like a rock, like nothing could ever move him when he didn’t want to move. And this new accent of his… it was soothing, it had a sexy touch to it, really.

He raised his eyebrows in a questioning demeanor and it was at that instance, that she noticed, she was staring at him… again. And again, he had said something, waiting for her to answer. She really needed to pull herself together.

Looking at him, she plastered on a smile (it probably wouldn’t fool him, but she could at least try).

“No, I am fine, really.”, she gave her fake smile a little more edge, “I am just glad, I got you back… I mean that you and Connor returned safely. And Rufus, I am so glad he is back as well. You know… Jiya hasn’t been the same since we lost him here in our timeline. And honestly, we have become a family and he was part of that. When Rittenhouse ripped that away from us, when they killed him, it just felt like everything that ever meant something was gone. We lost faith in the fight against Rittenhouse and just didn’t know how to deal with all of it. I mean… loosing family in such a brutal matter is just… it makes you devastated…”. She trailed off and fell silent.

His appearance had changed while listening to her words and he was nervously fumbling at his wedding ring, looking down to his fingers. She couldn’t really see his eyes or face without leaning forward and awkwardly tilting her head to look up at him again. So, she didn’t know what was going on in this moment.

While listening to Lucy, Flynn understood what she said, better than anyone from this bunker, really. But why would she talk about losing family in a brutal way so carelessly around him? She had never done so before. She knew about his family, his wife Lorena and little girl. She knew that they were brutally murdered because of him, because of Rittenhouse. He clearly understood better, knew what it was like to lose family like that.

Then, it dawned on him. He shook his head when hope started to rise up in him, even though he didn’t want it to, but he just couldn’t help it.

“Are they alive?”, he jerked his head up again, letting go of his ring and stared at her, suddenly with an excitement and nervousness that showed evidently in his eyes.

“Who? What do you mean?”, Lucy asked a little hesitant and surprised by this sudden mood change of his. He grabbed her shoulders, almost as if to shake her, since she didn’t understand his question and he just needed to know.

He didn’t shake her, but repeated with a quivering voice: “Are they alive, again? Iris and Lorena? – What happened in this timeline? Did Rittenhouse murder them or not?”

“Rittenhouse murdered who?”, she asked with obvious confusion. “What are you-“

He cut her off impatiently: “Iris and Lorena, my little girl and my wife. I need to know! NOW!”. With that he let go of her shoulders and took large steps towards the computer area. His legs were so long, that he managed to cross the distance in a speed, normal people could only do while running. He left her standing there, with a dropped jaw and confusion and a mountain of emotions running through her mind and body.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t think. What had just happened? She needed to work through the information thrown at her all at once, one by one. She needed to analyze it piece by piece to fully grasp what he had said in those very few sentences.

Iris and Lorena, two names she had never heard before. They were important to him… his wife and his little girl… his wife and his little girl… his WIFE?! Wife, as in married? _Not to her,_ but to another woman? That’s why his wedding band was so different, it was the one his wife gave him, to whom he was married. It wasn’t Lucy. But Lucy WAS his wife… at least she had been… yesterday… but not today. Her stomach dropped. Now he had a new wife. AND a little girl… a child. He really had a child, how was that possible? Her Flynn never had a child with her. They were married nine years, but it was him, he couldn’t father children. He had had an infection while being young and before coming to America, it was bad and was treated poorly back in former Yugoslavia. It left him with inner scars to the extent of not being able to father children. But now he could? How was that possible? He had a little girl, _his own_ child?!   
But they were killed, by Rittenhouse. He had said so, they were murdered, his family, his wife and child. While processing this last bit of information, her heart broke for him. She was heartbroken herself, since he wasn’t her beloved husband anymore but instead fell in love with another woman and fathered a child. But to imagine him suffering from losing people he loved as dearly as he had loved her before, just yesterday in fact… she couldn’t bear it. How would her Flynn, her husband version of Flynn… would he have ever survived losing her to Rittenhouse? And now there was this Flynn, this new one and he had lost his beloved wife and child to Rittenhouse. She now began to understand why he was so different in presence, in behavior, why his aura and his facial lines were expressing something deeper than his other version. He had suffered, this Flynn had suffered immensely and had experienced loss and the torture of this loss, and not only with losing his wife but also his child. A child should never go before their parents. And yet, Rittenhouse seemed to have taken his wife and his little girl, both of them. His little girl… how little was she?

While processing through all of this, Flynn was typing bewildered into the computer. Looking for any information of Lorena Flynn from Dubrovnik. But there was no information coming up. No Lorena Flynn was to be found, nor was Iris for that matter. He typed in her maiden name, Lorena Novak and Dubrovnik. And the window with information popped up.

Thank god, they had access to the Homeland Security database. It definitely made this search easier. He started reading the given information in front of him.

His heart fluttered nervously with every line he read. The beginning of her personal information was all known to him, nothing out of the ordinary, he continued reading. There it was, the information he was looking for. It felt like his heart had dropped down to his stomach and guts and was then forcefully removed from his body. Lorena was alive. She was alive and she was married… but not to him. She was still alive, because she had never married him, because she, in consequence, wasn’t murdered by Rittenhouse. Lorena was alive and happily married for the past 7 years. And she had a child with this new husband of hers, a boy of 3 years. He couldn’t believe what he just read. And it needed a while for him to fully understand what that meant.

Not only was his heart ripped out by the fact, that his wife loved someone else, the way she must have loved him. She married someone else. She had a child with that man. But it was a boy, it was not a girl and certainly it wasn’t Iris, his little girl. Iris was never born, because he hadn’t married Lorena. So basically, Iris didn’t exist, never has… and yet he knew she existed. He knew that she had wandered this earth, left her footprint on the beach and that she had been afraid of monsters in her closet. At the same time, she had never existed, not in this timeline, not for anyone else, not even for her mother Lorena, only for him. He was the only one who ever knew Iris existed, that she was his daughter, that she had a wonderful giggle and a smile that could brighten the darkest place, with eyes more beautiful than the stars. And nobody knew, no one remembered her. There was nothing left of his little girl besides his memory and his wedding band. The only prove that he was once married to Lorena, yet proof only to him.

He felt like he had just lost his little girl again, the memory of her lifeless eyes, the blood, everything from that dreadful night in December 2014 came back, flashed in front of his eyes. Lorena was alive, she was not dead, that was good. But Iris was dead or even worse, never existed.

His heart was aching and he just didn’t know how to bear it anymore. He felt exhausted, as if all energy was sucked out of his body at once. He could scream at the world, could start a murdering revenge rage at Rittenhouse, shooting before asking, ripping out body parts, torturing them, he just couldn’t stand the ache anymore.

Tears began to run down his cheeks, uncontrolled and he didn’t even notice. He placed his elbows on the computer table and put his head down, pressing his palms into his eyes. He felt lost, didn’t know what to do, couldn’t think, couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

He doesn’t know how long he had sat there, could have been a minute or an hour, he didn’t know and he didn’t care. His world was damaged once more and his hopes destroyed once and for all.

_‘Only if we give up hope’._

This moment had come, he had lost his hope. He gave it up, just now. He would never get his little girl back, never. And Lorena, she was alive and he was somehow happy for her, but not really, because it wasn’t him who made her happy. But at least she was alive.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head up a little and saw Lucy standing there, her hand on his shoulder. She had a tender and soft expression on her face and yet it somehow looked like aching at the same time. She had looked over his shoulder and had read the file of Lorena that was open on the screen. He hadn’t even noticed her before she finally placed her hand on his shoulder to reassure him, that she was there. She was here, where he was, she was here, just for him, because she loved him, because he was her husband, but he did not know that. And she loved him, although he had another wife, Lorena. But Lorena had another husband. If it wasn’t so sad, it could have almost been funny, but it wasn’t. All of them were hurt. Time travel was a bitch, again.

She gave his shoulder a slight squeeze and pulled him around on the office chair, thank god it was turning, because she was sure he wouldn’t have on his own.

He was now facing her and she closed the space between them, he sitting, she standing. He looked so lost, like she felt. Losing their beloved partner, something they had in common, although it was certainly something neither of them had wished for.

Without a word from either of them, she put her other hand behind his head and pulled him close, pressing his head against her body. He complied without hesitation, leaned forward when pulled towards her. He placed his cheek right under her sternum, tears still running down silently. She caressed his cheek and side with her one hand, pressing him into her and with the other she fumbled in his soft dark hair, trying to sooth him down.

They stayed like this for a long while, giving the other company. She had understood what was going on with him, she had put all the clues together and just knew he was broken from everything that had happened to him. She had already decided, that she would sacrifice her own marriage for now, to make it easier for him. For now, she needed to pull back her own desires and needs and be there for him, for the man she loved. And she would be here for him, to support him, whenever he needed her. Because that’s what you do, when you love someone like she loved him. It wasn’t fair to him, to just drop the bomb of their matrimony, when he had just lost his wife and child again as it seemed. And he didn’t know about their marriage. If he didn’t know, the other versions of Rufus and Connor and that Wyatt guy wouldn’t know either. She just had to talk to Jiya and Denise to keep it hidden from them for now. Just until she got to know this Flynn, until she could understand this version of him. Then they could still discuss everything. But for now, she understood that he just needed time and needed to grief.

She looked down at the crown of his head, still caressing his hair. He seemed to sense her gaze and pulled his head away from her body and tilted it to look into her eyes. He looked so lost. He was unable to say anything, he could just stare at her, without any thoughts, without any intentions. But she was here, he wasn’t alone and it felt good having someone at his side. So, he just kept staring into her beautiful brown eyes and tried to get even more lost in them, as he remembered that he had done this so many times before, with the Lucy from his timeline.

Seems like they were really close friends in this timeline as well. And he needed her right now, needed her to just be here for him. And she was.

“Garcia.”, she said while taking his hand with both of hers, wrapping them around his. She pulled a little at him and he got up. He had known what she wanted, the moment she spoke his name and he didn’t resist. She started to walk in the direction of the rooms and he just followed her silently, she would take care of him, he knew and she knew. She would be there when he wanted or needed to talk or she would remain silent when he didn’t. But she would be there and she wouldn’t leave him alone to his lost solitude.

She pulled him down the hallway to one of the rooms. It was another room than the one he used to have, but in the end, it didn’t really matter, as they were all small, dark and miserable alike. 

She opened the door, pulled him in and closed it behind him. For a moment he was just standing there and didn’t really know what to do. She let go of his hand, scampering around in the room and handed him a large towel, clean boxer briefs and a pair of sweatpants with a comfortable t-shirt.

He took it all in his hands without thinking what it was for or even understanding what was going on. She then stood in front of him, pulled him down on the collar of his 20th century jacket and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Garcia, you need to take a shower. Then you can go to bed and I will stay with you. I will not leave you, but you need to take a shower first, get clean and put on the clean clothes. Do you understand?”

He looked at her and somehow, he understood her directions. Nothing else was working but he understood what she just said to him and nodded, eyes still locked.

She smiled weakly and let go of his collar. He turned around and left the room in direction of the bathroom.

He was alone in the bathroom and took a shower. Everything that he did felt more like a mechanism than intentional movement. It was just a matter of routines, nothing more. And he was so tired, his body was so tired, muscles sore and everything felt heavy and hard to move, but he did without thinking, his body handled the routine on his own.

He felt like a robot, when he entered the room again and he was just so exhausted. After he entered the room, he suddenly didn’t know what to do anymore. But lucky for him, Lucy was there. She also had changed into pajama pants and a comfy sweatshirt, that reminded him of one of his.

She seemed to sense his disability to move or think or do anything besides breathing and maybe he just did the latter one because it was more of an instinct, rather than a conscious action. That way, at least as long as he kept breathing, he would survive, at least that was something, he thought. She took the dirty clothes from him, on top was Jiya’s gun. He’d still had the gun, tucked into his back, it almost fell down when he undressed for the shower. She also took the damp towel and placed his stuff on the chair next to the door and the gun on the desk. She then took his hand again and pulled him towards the beds, sat him on the edge, climbed in and situated her with pillows in her back. She was comfortably half lying down, half sitting when she pulled him towards her by his shoulders. She basically pressed his head down on her lap. The rest of his body somehow found its way onto the bed, curling up, so his head could rest in her lap.

She placed a blanket as good as she could over his curled body, also covering up to his shoulders, as he was only wearing a t-shirt and it was cold in the bunker, as always. Although she knew, there was nothing happening tonight with her husband and probably there was nothing happening for the next couple of weeks between him and her, she still couldn’t help but notice his nicely toned biceps.

His head rested comfortably in her lap, his one hand was absent mindedly stroking over her thigh right above her knee, but he didn’t even notice. Lucy did notice though. After she still kept staring at his biceps, she definitely felt his hand moving up and down on her thigh. And her fantasy began to bloom quickly under his touch. But she needed to focus on him and his needs, not on her own. That’s what she did, shoving everything to the side and instead concentrated fully on him.

She buried her hands in his hair and caressed and massaged the side and back of his head. She couldn’t see his eyes or face. But she didn’t speak, it was good just sitting there in compatible silence, she being there for him, not leaving him alone when he needed her the most.

She didn’t notice, when his hand stopped caressing her thigh or when her hands stopped in his hair. Neither did he. They both were lost in thought before and stared into the darkness. At some point, whether it was together or one after the other, they dozed off and finally found some sleep.

They had lost their spouses and yet they were together, just different.

**Author's Note:**

> I am not sure, if I should continue this one. I think it might stand as a one shot. But there actually was a second chapter to it, I just didn't like it. And since I have two other stories to finish, I should really not start a third one with open end. So I will place this here for now. Let me know what you think. Comments and crittique always welcome, just try to be gentle please o.o.   
> Happy Valentine's Day to everyone, single or not, it's still a Sunday, which is nice :D


End file.
